Staggering life change and sudden, unexpected shifts can bring us back to the heart of who we are.
This was the case for me roughly two months ago when my ex and I broke up. Finding some shots of her on this latest roll of film was surprising, but a bit welcome for a retrospective. It gave me a new way to look at myself, and who I am at the core.
I become a different person sometimes when someone has a profound impact on me, and especially if that change leans into things that are already present in my spirit. In the case of her, this manifested as a renewed love for reading, writing, and poetic thought and processing. I likely wouldn’t have renewed my activity on this blog had it not been for her, and I was in a real drought of reading. Since we broke up, I’ve taken time to analyze what I want to retain of the person I became with her, and much of it has stuck. I still think in a Thoreau-esque way, and I love to write. Even just allowing myself to take life more lightly.
I like who I become when I begin to borrow from people I admire, and I want to be more intentional about it. I’ve been paying better attention to what I do around people, so I can be more aware of myself and “how” I am. It’s quite fun. Maybe try it yourself?